Baker AU Logs: Swap
by Baker the Skeleton
Summary: Baker the Skeleton adventures the AUs and writes files on them. Of course, he can't write a file without actually going there. While it should be pretty clear, here he ends up in UnderSwap. He managed to not die long enough to get to Hotland and back home. That was the last chapter for this log.
1. Snowdin

**Baker AU Log: "Swap."**

Baker falls flat on his face.

"Great way to start this story," Murmured Baker while getting up. He checked his pockets, wiped the snow of his grey sweater, and got moving into the forest in front of him. He almost became the first person to walk directly into a brick wall with no intentions to do so, but managed to pay attention and stop. He walked around the left side of the building and exited the forest. Baker looked up at the sign plastered onto the front of the building. "Muffets. Hm. Least I'll know where to get my drinks from," Baker mused, "And it's definitely not here." Walking past Muffets and back into the forest he strolled before hearing some voices. It was Papyrus and Sans. Baker swiftly ducked behind a tree and tried to listen to them. He then noticed Chara looking at him from a tree closer to the Skeletons. This is awkward.

"NO! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!" Screamed Sans. He seems more angry then usual. "WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THOUGH HERE!? I WANT TO BE READY! I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN! THEN..." Is this really how long this monologue goes on for? Thought Baker, starting to lose interest. After what felt like one or two decades later for Baker, Papyrus spoke. (Forgive me, this program doesn't have the Papyrus font.)

"yea… Maybe this plant will help you." "PAPYRUS! YOU ARE NOT HELPING! YOU LAZYBONES! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AND BOONDOGGLE!" Sans started up again. "Ok, you know what, screw this, they seem friendly enough." whispered Baker before leaving. "I am not going to sit though another bloody monologue."

After going back where he came from, he decided to go into Muffets. "Well, This looks a lot like Grillbs. That about all I can say about it," said Baker. He then awkwardly shuffled out, because he realized he actually said that out loud, and not just in his head. After heading back out to Snowdin (Obviously. Buildings don't simply teleport, you know.), He started writing down his file on this place. "It seems like this is the normal stuff, but it seems like everyone has their mirrors personality. But I should make sure it's not just Snowdin," Baker told himself. And with those words in his head, he headed to Waterfall.


	2. Waterfall

**Baker AU Log: "Swap" (Waterfall)**

In case you forgot what happened last time, Baker started heading for Waterfall. He began looking at Snowdin while walking there. It looked like this could be sold off as the normal one, as long as the person didn't recognize Muffet. And Papyrus. And Sans. OK, so it wouldn't be convincing to anyone that payed longer than 30 minutes, but still. He entered waterfall and saw Papyrus standing behind the outpost.

"Eh, Paps." Baker greeted, fishing something out from his sweater pocket.

"Hi. Don't mind me asking, but who the hell are you?" "Now, now, Paps, don't you know how to greet a new friend? My name's Baker," he said as he was extending his hand for a handshake. "Come on, come on..." Baker eagerly thought. Papyrus went for it, and then they contacted. The fart noise was probably loud enough for Sans to hear from here.. Baker fell to the floor laughing his pelvis off. Papyrus just snickered. "The good old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. It's always funny." Papyrus said though his smirk. After 30 minutes, Baker got up, holding where his stomach would be. "Alright, well you have a good one Paps." Baker said while chuckling to himself. "What just happened?" Papyrus muttered to himself.

After he managed to completely regain his composure, he realized that there was music being played somewhere, but he couldn't tell where. In front of him stood the puzzle of those took a couple of steps, and then ran into on of the rock walls. "Ow. Dammit, why doesn't anyone just use something that glows in the dark for the path?" Baker said as he ground his teeth and rubbed his head.

Eventually, with many new walls found, he managed to find the statue. It still needed shelter. Baker walked by it and looked at the castle. "Well, so far, that's one of the only non annoying things to not be changed around here." Baker mused to himself, flashing back to all the rock walls. After walking past the bridge, Baker began hugging the wall and looked carefully at them. Undyne usually had eyes in the back of her head, but this wasn't Undyne. Baker tried to lean in, but something was coming closer to him, so he hugged he wall harder.

You have to admit, you had quite the experience getting here. You got chased by Alphys multiple times, met with Happstablook after nearly dying to that thing, thought about life, and watched your turtle start burning when you tried to race with it. But now you're here, about to actually face Alphys. But as you're walking by, you notice the skeleton that is apparently trying to sink into the wall. It's the same one that was hiding in the forest of Snowdin.

"Don't mind me, kid. Go on, just move along," The skeleton pressured. You wanted to ask his name, but suddenly you were thrown sideways into the view of the mountains. If Alphys didn't hear you smack into the wall, you would not know what she could. She then began her monologue. You kind of tune it out, for whatever reason. You figure you could just get though while she's monolouging, but as soon as you take the step.

"Oh, getting impatient, are you? Very well, step forward, then!" You did NOT think this though. "NGAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Alphys shouted her best battle cry. "OW, BLOODY HELL!" Shouted the Skeleton in pain.

"MY BLOODY EARS ARE RINGING!" Baker yelled, before realizeing that both of them were staring at him. "Uhhhh..." Baker went, "LOOK IT'S GETTING AWAY!" and flung Chara though the cave. "HEY!" Alphys screamed while giving chase. That was awkward. Baker tried to follow them, but managed to lose them. While retracing their steps, he found himself by the sentry post in Hotland.


	3. Hotland

**Baker AU Log: "Swap" (Hotland)**

Baker walked though the heatstroke inducing entrance to Hotland.

"Hotter than hell in here, as per usual." Baker said while looking for the water cooler that was placed out for people like him who couldn't stand the heat. The heat haze in front of him practically blinded him. It was so bad he needed to start crawling to make sure he didn't meet the opposite of Davy Jones (Yvad Senoj?). A little bit after trying to cross the bridge without burning his eye sockets off and being able to see the bridge, he finally found it. Baker quickly grabbed a cup, poured some water and swigged it. Everything cleared up and he could stand the heat now. "Man, what does Alphys put into this stuff?" Baker wondered. Tossing the paper cup, which evaporated on the spot, into the lava river, he strolled across the bridge. Lab dead ahead, Ferry south, and the NTB Hotel north. "Wait, NTB?" Baker questioned. He went north to see if anyone inside had an answers.

Well, whoever this NTB guy was, he knew how to decorate. There was a fountain with a bot that looked a lot like the one back in his universe, the hotel interior was a lazy blue color, everything in here seemed to make you want to relax. The restaurants food tasted good, but costed more than an arm and two legs. As Baker sat down with his meal, all the TVs simultaneously turned on.

"Welcome, beauties, to the Undergrounds premier cooking show!" Shouted a robotic voice from the TV. Baker turned so he could see it. Behind the counter stood a robot which was basically Mettaton with blue lights. A graphic popped up on its face, saying Cooking with a Killer Robot. "Preheat your ovens, because we have a very special recipe for you today! We're going to be making..." a drumroll sound effect played. "A cake! My lovely assistant here," the robot declared as the camera panned to reveal Chara standing right next to him, "will gather the ingredients. Everyone give them a big hand!" The robot exclaimed as a clapping sound was played though the TV. We need Sugar, Milk, and Eggs. Go for it, Sweetheart!" The robot cheered, finally ending his spiel. A light, jazzy soundtrack played in the background. After Chara gathered the ingredients from the counter behind them, the robot who Baker just realized was NTB began talking again. "Perfect! Great job, beautiful! We got all the ingredients we need to bake the cake! Milk, Sugar, Eggs, OH MY! WAIT A MAGNIFICENT MOMENT! HOW COULD I FORGET!" NTB screamed excitedly. Minus the fact that it felt like his ears were bleeding, Baker didn't feel like this was going to end well. "I forgot the MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT!" NTB flamboyantly said while reaching down under the counter. Suddenly he pulled out a chainsaw and started revving it up! "A HUMAN SOUL!" NTB said, devoid of all emotion. But right before Chara was attacked, there was a ringing sound. NTB reached into his pocket(?) and answered his phone. "What is it? Im in the middle of something here." NTB said grudgingly. "A substitution? You mean, use a different, non-human ingredient?" NTB said.

At this time, Baker was starting to get sick of the robots voice, so he went to leave the hotel to find where Muffet used to be and see if anything changed there. As he was leaving, the robot started to talk. "That's a great idea, Undyne!" The robot shouted again. "Undyne?" Baker whispered to himself. Guess it makes sense. Alphys was the person chasing after Chara, after all. Undyne wouldn't just disappear.

The path over to where Muffet used to be was harder than Baker remembered, but that could be because of unfamiliarity. But as soon as he stepped into the area, things were weird. In front of his eyes, was a Blue Blazer, Pink Bow, and Gaben glasses wearing Grillby.

"Yaaaaaaaaa, No." Baker said as he walked out of that place and back into his own universe. Things were the way he left it in his room, so he just grabbed some paper and stated working on the file, the image of Grillby forever implanted in his mind.

This is the end of Baker AU log "Swap." Hope you enjoyed it! Fell will be next!


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